I Suck at Being Pregnant

For those of you that are keeping track, I really suck at being pregnant.  Which, really pisses me off.  I pride myself on doing a good job at everything I set out to do.  So, when it became blatantly obvious that I’m just bad at having babies I had to accept the writing on the wall.  My name is Lisa, and I am horrible at being pregnant.  Let me clarify – horrible at being pregnant to full term.  Getting pregnant?  Apparently no problem as evidenced by little Abby who is currently baking.  Staying pregnant? Ugh.

I’ll back up.  When I was pregnant with Anna I was sure that everything was going to be textbook perfect.  Everything was going peachy until I woke up in the middle of the night to a really bad contraction at 32 weeks.  The contraction ended and then my water broke.  Shocked, I waded through the Mississippi that was now on my bed and we raced to the hospital.  Luckily Anna was head-down so her cord couldn’t prolapse.  I was in the hospital being pumped full of every antibiotic and fluid they could get their hands on for 6 days before I went into labor.  Her delivery was probably one of the scariest moments of our lives.  I can tell you about it sometime – it makes the hair on my arms stand up when I do.  Anna was born at 33 weeks and had to stay in the NICU for a week and a half.  Totally not what we were expecting.

My second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks.  The baby was a boy.  We were devastated.

I got pregnant a third time (hello, Luke) and made it to the second trimester.  My OB thought that Anna’s preterm birth could be a fluke, but he had me do the weekly progesterone injections and consult with a high risk OB.  I saw both doctors for the entire pregnancy, got about a million ultrasounds, and took almost every medicine you can think of.  Around 31/32 weeks, my contractions started picking up and my blood pressure started rising.  I was put on bedrest and was closely monitored in hopes that I could make it to 37 weeks.  Per orders, all of my medicines were stopped at 35 weeks, 6 days.  I went into labor and delivered Luke at 36 weeks, 0 days.  Luckily, he was healthy and was able to avoid the NICU.

Now, we are on pregnancy number four and baby number three.  There is absolutely no question in either of my doctors’ minds that I’m at risk for preterm labor.  I have a very clear history of it now.  This time, everyone is being a bit more aggressive in trying to prevent it.  My regular OB (who will deliver me) likes the 17p weekly progesterone injections from 16-36 weeks to help with preterm labor.  He’s also told me that I can’t leave the St. Louis area once I’m in my third trimester.  My high risk doesn’t favor the 17p and instead likes supplemental progesterone.  So, I will be taking both.  My high risk has also put me on extra folic acid and a baby aspirin because it helps with placental development.  I’m also taking my prenatal and something for heartburn.  At some point, I will be on an anti-contraction medicine as well.  On top of the medicine, my high risk wants to keep a close eye on my cervix.  We’ve done one measurement (done via ultrasound) and will do another in a little over a week.  I will have cervical length ultrasounds done until 24 weeks because my high risk is considering placing a cerclage (a stitch that holds your cervix shut).  For now, I’m seen every two weeks by either my regular doctor or my high risk.  Soon that will switch to weekly visits.  The upside, I get to see the baby all the time.  Downside – it’s a huge time and money suck.  All worth it in the end, but a bit frustrating while it’s happening.  My high risk explained that it’s promising that we know my body can make it past 33 weeks, but that it took a ton of work to get Luke to 36 weeks.  He’s told me that it will be a ton of work this time around too.  He’s basically promising me that I will be on bedrest at some point, so Alex and I are trying to prepare for that.  We’ve contacted a daycare that we will put the kids in once I’m down for the count.  We’ve also started getting the nursery ready and bags will be packed much earlier so that we can hit the door when the time comes.

For now, it’s a waiting game.  I’m well into my second trimester and was feeling better.  The first few months were really bad.  I was on extra progesterone which makes me feel really crappy on top of normal first trimester blahs.  It’s taken everything in me to keep my kids alive, let alone keep the house in order.  Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping all fell on Alex.  All I could do was lay around and pray that I would feel better.  It was miserable. I hit the second trimester and that began to fade.  I was able to eat without gagging and go an entire day without napping.  I felt unstoppable! And then I started my progesterone injections.  I immediately remembered why I hated them with Luke’s pregnancy.  First, those little f-er’s are oil based.  So, it takes over a minute for them to go in.  They go in your rear, so you have to stand there ass out for the world for five forevers.  Then it just sits under your skin.  Massaging and ice helps, but your rear is sore and itchy for days.  I always feel crummy the days I get my shots.  It’s guaranteed that I’m going to nap and probably gag all through my meals.  Actually, the nausea sticks around all week and just gets a bit worse on injection days.

I don’t want to come off as miserable, because I don’t like being a miserable person.  I am fine and will be fine.  I’ve been trying to push through with life as normal so that I can make it as normal as possible for my family.  Still failing in the cleaning and sometimes cooking departments, but we are getting by.  Please don’t judge me if you come over to my house in the near future.  I’m really trying to stay positive about it all.  I am so, so grateful that I am able to get pregnant and have babies.  I just hate being sick and feeling like I can’t do the things I need to be doing.  It’s really frustrating for me.  I’m looking at 5 more months of feeling like crap before I get to hold a sweet baby in my arms.  Five months is nothing, right?!?  RIGHT?!

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A belly picture of those that are into that sort of thing. I’ve decided that with your third baby, your body just says ‘screw it’ and you get really big really fast. I promise, there’s only one in there. Also, notice the dirty spots on the mirror from total lack of cleaning lately. See, I don’t make these things up.

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