The Gym Incident

I’ve been back at the exercise wagon lately in an effort to halt the winter weight gain and get myself back into shape for the upcoming triathlon season.  Let me tell you how hard it is to pull myself out of my warm bed, throw on my running gear, and head outside to run before the sun comes up.  It’s so, so cozy in my bed and so, so bitterly cold when I step outside.  I have yet to ride my bike this year because it’s been so cold and there’s no way I’m doing that just yet.  Instead, I’ve been training on a stationary bike at my gym.  Not crazy about it because a stationary bike is not that similar to a regular bike, but what can I do at this point.  Crossing my fingers for warmer weather so I can hit the trails again.  I oddly miss them.  I have no excuse for not swimming lately.  I’ve just been lazy and not going.  The people who work the parking lot and front desk at my gym gave me crap when I showed back up.  That’s okay.  I deserved it.

The other day, I was at the gym to get a quick swim workout in.  I always go to the same locker because it’s off in a corner and there’s a chair next to it that I like to use to set my bag on while I change into my suit.  I have a whole system.  Like every other day, I was at ‘my’ locker getting ready to change into my swimsuit.  Out of nowhere, an older lady walks up and opens the locker right next to mine to use.  Now, I’m not exaggerating when I say that there are no less than 800 lockers in this room.  I looked around to make sure it wasn’t a joke.  It wasn’t.  So, I tried to play it cool.  I made a little small talk to break the ice.  She gave me no indication that she was going to move anytime soon.  I didn’t have all day to wait, so I decided to keep doing what I was doing and get my suit on.  I guess my friend thought the same because she started changing as well.  I had dropped trou and was bending over to put my feet through my suit when it happened.  My bare ass gently grazed something.  I jerked around.  To my horror, I realized that my naked ass cheek touched my friend’s naked ass cheek.  I froze as my mind raced – do I pretend it didn’t happen?  Do I say something?  I nervously mumbled ‘oh, sorry’, and moved over about a foot.  My friend didn’t even acknowledge it.  Which makes me wonder – at what age do you completely lose all inhibition?

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